Here's a thing. . .

I am so so so sorry that I have not blogged in 4 months (!). Really there is no excuse.

I am hoping that there are still some of you out there who still check this little peek into my vida. Maybe by some chance I am still on your little RSS feed or blogger subscriber, or whatever these space age programs are.

I can assure you that there have been many, many, many times that I have wanted to share with you all here. The truth is that the past couple (x2) of months has been filled with some things that just give you heavy boots. I might share a bit of it here. If you don't want to read it because it is depressing there will be no judgment from me.

I temped a job for a bit that just showed some really sad parts of humanity. I will spare you all of the details, but I was a victim advocate and I spent a lot of time in court listening to people make excuses for really awful choices that harmed other people. I felt sad and frustrated that we are in a state of things where violence is normalized and excused.

It is also a bit hopeless to know that these men (usually men) are going to go in to a system that does not have any productive ways to rehabilitate them so they will be released and then hurt someone else (or the same person again).

A really beautiful part of that experience was watching women really find their voice and strength again. I had a woman say to me at a sentencing this morning that she was feeling really bad about this whole thing and blaming herself and then she realized 'wait, I didn't hit me, he did'. Love it.

I had the advocate who I was filling in for tell me that she spoke to a Victim who I had worked with. The Victim told the advocate that she really appreciated talking with me and then she paused in the conversation and said "I love her".

That makes it all worth it.

oh heyyyy . . .

i'm going to Cal-i-for-ni-a tomorrow biotches.

I will be soaking up the sun and NOT working. It will be glorious.

I will be doing lots, but mostly getting sunburned hoping it will turn in to a tan.

Get the move on

Last night I was watching TV and this commercial came on for something (obviously ineffective because I do not remember the product) . It was talking about how when we travel or move to a new place we are more inclined to be adventurous, try new foods, go new places, talk to different people etc.

I was having that exact thought at dinner earlier on in the evening. I was at a restaurant/bar that I had never been to before. I thought to myself 'I have lived in this city for 5 years and I have never been here'. I just realized that we kind of get into a life routine. Even though Seattle is a big city, I am young, I don't have a whole lot of responsibilities, I still just get in a rut.

I always feel like I don't 'get out' enough. But the truth is, I really don't want to. I would rather drink a glass of wine (or three) at home with my roommates and watch a movie. I think I need a bit of a kick start. I am craving an adventure, but for some reason life keeps getting in the way.

I am constantly battling the feeling that I am too young to be so boring and then feeling like I am almost 25 (!) and there is a lot I wanted to accomplish at this point in my life and I better get on it.

Sidenote: One of those things would be having a family. I think that this adventure or getting out would make that a bit more possible. Let's just say that my current pool of men does not exactly include anyone that ideal (cops) .

Sometimes I think that I should take a year and travel, get fresh perspective.

How would I pay for that? That takes a year out of any sort of career track. Would I just miss my Seattle life the whole time?

Alas, I arrive at the rut again and settle in.

Let's call it what it is

First read this news story
Father's deadly rage ignited by breakup


This is our response in 200 words to the editor of the Seattle Times

Seattle Times reported the homicide of five children by their father in Graham without naming the abusive behavior patterns this family experienced as domestic violence. While the report outlines classic signs of abuse, such as the abuse of pets, children’s fear, murderous jealousy, and tracking one’s partner through GPS, it calls James Harrison’s behavior expressions of “rage.”

Until we start recognizing and naming domestic violence, we as a community will continue to sensationalize these horrific domestic violence homicides every time they make headlines. Sensationalizing these stories does not help us hold abusers accountable for their behavior – not just for murderous behavior, but for the systematic abuse and control that usually precedes a homicide.

The 2008 WSCADV Fatality Review states that since January 1997, “430 people were killed by domestic violence abusers in Washington State,” and, alarmingly, between 1/3 and ½ of women murdered in WA state “are killed by their current or former intimate partners” (7). We challenge media to report these incidents for what they are: cases of domestic violence. Naming domestic violence allows readers to identify patterns of abuse in their own lives and to recognize the real, fatal, danger it poses to our community.

An Explanation

So I knew when I made my new habits that this would probably not be one that I was going to keep. I just don't want to write about shallow shit. It is boring and then I am afraid I will loose all of you, my loyal readers. I will, however blog a couple times a week with something of semi depth.

Day 3: successful in the sleep and work out

Day 4: successful in the sleep

Day 5: Today. I really don't want to work out because basically my uterus is making me want to put a fork in my eye. My roommate told me that I should walk and I would feel better. bitch.

I am working a LOT this weekend so I will probs have some good things to share about that.

Tonight

I almost failed.

It was late and I just got home and didn't want to exercise, but I did. I got my pretty little behind in gear and grabbed a roommate and went on a walk . . . and then I wanted french fries.


Tonight I had dinner with the family I babysit for. I literally watched a baby move inside of the mom's stomach.

Some days I wish that having a baby was closer in the future.


Day 2: Successful

Here's the deal

I am starting some new habits.

Habit #1

Go to bed by midnight every night
(I tried this last night and then woke up multiple times in the middle of the night with sharp pains in the abdomen. When I am half awake this pain makes me think that I might be dying when really it is just gas. I am hoping tonight goes better).

Habit #2

Work out for at least 20 min everyday
(I have a very loose definition of 'working out'. Tonight it meant eat three cookies and do 20 min of very non-strenuous pilates).

Habit #3

Blog once a day
(I know, I know you are about to hyperventilate because you are so excited, but please calm down. There probably won't be much depth in these parts because let's be real you can't be this beautiful and be deep all the time).


I'll let you know how it goes.

Day 1: successful

It's noon

And I just brushed my teeth.

I should never have a job where I work from home

The grass is greener

Every couple of months I get this strong feeling that the grass is greener on the other side. With that comes a sleu of 'I should be' and 'I want' s. Here is a little list for a sneak peek.

I should be more patient

I should talk about myself less

I should work out more

I should spend less money

I should call my friends more

I should go out more

I should read more

I want to be closer to my family

I want to be in the sunshine
I want to be more adventurous
I want to be better at being a Christian

I want to have a better idea about my career path

I want to not be overwhelmed so easily
I want to have my own family in the next 6 years
I want to be better at living the things I say I care about


I heard a woman say once that if we are at a place in our life or our work where we need something external to change to make it better then that is a good sign that something deeper is going on, a deeper dissatisfaction. I know that if all of my wants turned into things that I have and if all my shoulds turned into things that I do I would likely still be unsatisfied at some point.

I think that this is just real life. Part of the human condition (whatever that means). Maybe we really are not meant for this place and that is why there will always be a part of me that feels like there is 'more'. Maybe it is because I am antsy and in my 20's and feel overwhelmed by all of the paths before me. I want to take the road less traveled, but the road of comfort and familiarity allows me to just take a deep breath. There must be a balance between the two and maybe that is where the list above begins to shrink.

Does he have a brother?

Ok, if you know me you have probably already seen this on facebook or I sent you an e-mail. This is the President's recent speech on creating an Executive Council on Women and Girls. I cannot begin to explain how refreshing it is to read headlines and speeches from an administration that seems to really get that we are all connected.



P.S. This does mean that Obama is a feminist. Just in case there was any question on what a feminist looks like :)

At Peace

Today was a good day. I am not really sure what to say right now. I don't think this will be very eloquent.

I presented at the Women Studies class at SPU today. I had the opportunity to talk about the work that I do. I think it was the first time in a long time that I was really moved by the beauty of the experiences I get to have.

I get to meet women in their deep places of suffering and see their strength in a way that gives me hope. Hope that in our core we are created to live with one another in a way where violence is not the answer.

I get to tell them that they aren't crazy, it is not their fault, and no it is not ok, as they look at me through tear filled eyes grasping for some sense of normalcy.

Today I felt a deeper sense of hope that we are not created to live in a world where we hurt each other. I feel like I understand what it means to worship a resurrected Messiah, maybe more than I have in a long time.

Today I feel at peace.


"If we have no peace it is because we have forgotten we belong to each other"
- Mother Theressa

Addition

Dear Girl in the red hat on the #26

Just because you can speak French does not make it ok to talk louder than everyone else on the bus.


Also, when no one else is talking on the bus, it would be best to observe cell phone etiquette and shut the hell up.

Have a nice evening :)

Kelsey

Public Transportation

Reasons I don't love taking the bus

1. Sometimes it smells like one big fart
2. There typically are very attractive men, but they are ALL married
3. The bus only comes every half an hour and I typically read the schedule wrong so I always miss it.
4. Sometimes bus drivers make me fear for my life when they drive like a bat out of hell
5. I still have not figured out the secret rules about when to make eye contact to let someone know 'hell no don't sit next to me' or 'please pick me to sit next to so creeper McCreeperson behind you doesn't try to sit here'.

Reasons I love taking the bus

1. I get to drive through parts of the city that I would otherwise avoid
2. I get to make up stories about people's lives on the bus
3. I can listen to my i pod and space out before I get home
4. Sometimes (and by that I mean twice) I smile at people and they smile back
5. I watch people get so awkward when the bus driver asks them if they are ready for the weekend (on Tuesday) and if they are ready to go fishing. yeah, you aren't special, he says that to everyone.

Philip has been released !!!!

That is all

Do what you can

Hey,
I am posting this kind of late so if you get it in time please please please do something.

My roommates just recently told me about a man named Philip Rizk that they met in Egypt. He is a journalist and has worked to bring attention to the many injustices happening in Gaza. On Saturday he was arrested by the Egyptian security forces and is being detained without any real charges. Here is the article that describes what is going on.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7878067.stm


Please do one or all of these things to bring media attention to what is going on.

Write to Amnesty International

iar@amnesty.org.uk

Call the Egyptian Consulate in San Fransisco

(415) 346-9700

E-mail the Egyptian Consulate in San Fransisco

dr.heshamnakib@yahoo.com

Join the Facebook group "Support and Prayer for the Safe Release of Philip Rizk" for updates.

Here is a sample letter:

Dear Amnesty International,

I am writing to inform your organization about the abduction of Egyptian-German peace and humanitarian activist, Philip Rizk, in Egypt.Philip was simply leading a peaceful protest, about 50 km north of Cairo, to show solidarity to the Gazans and Palestinians and to spread awareness to the world about Israel’s treatment of the Palestinians.

The Egyptian authorities detained 15 of the marchers and then released them all, except Philip, who they took for ‘questioning’. The authorities have not yet given any information about his welfare or reasons for his detention.For more information, please see this Reuters article:http://uk.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUKTRE51617J20090207Amnesty, please do what you can to spread the news and to help free Philip Rizk, who is an innocent victim.

Yours sincerely,

Preach

what he said