The grass is greener

Every couple of months I get this strong feeling that the grass is greener on the other side. With that comes a sleu of 'I should be' and 'I want' s. Here is a little list for a sneak peek.

I should be more patient

I should talk about myself less

I should work out more

I should spend less money

I should call my friends more

I should go out more

I should read more

I want to be closer to my family

I want to be in the sunshine
I want to be more adventurous
I want to be better at being a Christian

I want to have a better idea about my career path

I want to not be overwhelmed so easily
I want to have my own family in the next 6 years
I want to be better at living the things I say I care about


I heard a woman say once that if we are at a place in our life or our work where we need something external to change to make it better then that is a good sign that something deeper is going on, a deeper dissatisfaction. I know that if all of my wants turned into things that I have and if all my shoulds turned into things that I do I would likely still be unsatisfied at some point.

I think that this is just real life. Part of the human condition (whatever that means). Maybe we really are not meant for this place and that is why there will always be a part of me that feels like there is 'more'. Maybe it is because I am antsy and in my 20's and feel overwhelmed by all of the paths before me. I want to take the road less traveled, but the road of comfort and familiarity allows me to just take a deep breath. There must be a balance between the two and maybe that is where the list above begins to shrink.