I am so so so sorry that I have not blogged in 4 months (!). Really there is no excuse.
I am hoping that there are still some of you out there who still check this little peek into my vida. Maybe by some chance I am still on your little RSS feed or blogger subscriber, or whatever these space age programs are.
I can assure you that there have been many, many, many times that I have wanted to share with you all here. The truth is that the past couple (x2) of months has been filled with some things that just give you heavy boots. I might share a bit of it here. If you don't want to read it because it is depressing there will be no judgment from me.
I temped a job for a bit that just showed some really sad parts of humanity. I will spare you all of the details, but I was a victim advocate and I spent a lot of time in court listening to people make excuses for really awful choices that harmed other people. I felt sad and frustrated that we are in a state of things where violence is normalized and excused.
It is also a bit hopeless to know that these men (usually men) are going to go in to a system that does not have any productive ways to rehabilitate them so they will be released and then hurt someone else (or the same person again).
A really beautiful part of that experience was watching women really find their voice and strength again. I had a woman say to me at a sentencing this morning that she was feeling really bad about this whole thing and blaming herself and then she realized 'wait, I didn't hit me, he did'. Love it.
I had the advocate who I was filling in for tell me that she spoke to a Victim who I had worked with. The Victim told the advocate that she really appreciated talking with me and then she paused in the conversation and said "I love her".
That makes it all worth it.