Ugh. I've tried to write this post five times, but I just never like the way it comes out. I just keep trying to explain myself and then it gets too long. I am just going to write this shit down, and I can promise it won't be poetic.
I am in four weddings this summer. It comes up in conversation a lot and it makes me feel awkward. I am not trying to boast about how special I am. These women all hold very dear parts in my life and I am honored to be a part of their wedding days and their marriages.
I think I talk about it a lot because there is this weird paradox happening in my life.
I don't forsee myself getting married in the near future, but I read a wedding blog (feel free to judge). I can spend one hour talking about invitations and the next hour studying for a mid term. I have friend's who are making lifetime commitments and I can't commit to anything past the next three months. I am straddling two very different worlds.
I love both of these worlds.
I am trying to learn how to honor where these women are in my life and also honor where I am in this journey. It is strange to have people in your life that you love dearly go through a season that you can't really relate to.
All of this to say, I know I talk about this a lot, the marriage thing. It's not because I am secretly obsessed and pining away. I also don't want it to appear that I think marriage is silly, I think quite the opposite actually. I am just trying to process this often overwhelming new season.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
I don't take ritalin
Dear Blog,
I am sorry I have been neglecting you of late, but it seems that there is something about Spring that makes my ADD (real or not, i typically am a bit scatter brained) real out of control. I want to blog, but then I need to clean. I want to blog but then, oh shit, its snowing in March. I want to blog and then maybe I should hang those curtains sitting at the foot of my bed for three months.
I am not very good at making promises so here are some possibilities. I may write to you about my experience in Camden. I may write to you about how I am a walking blob of contradictions. I may write to you about the wedding season on the horizon. I may write to you about how the thought of graduating occasionally scares me shitless.
No promises though.
As we can see I'm not really good at being consistent.
I am sorry I have been neglecting you of late, but it seems that there is something about Spring that makes my ADD (real or not, i typically am a bit scatter brained) real out of control. I want to blog, but then I need to clean. I want to blog but then, oh shit, its snowing in March. I want to blog and then maybe I should hang those curtains sitting at the foot of my bed for three months.
I am not very good at making promises so here are some possibilities. I may write to you about my experience in Camden. I may write to you about how I am a walking blob of contradictions. I may write to you about the wedding season on the horizon. I may write to you about how the thought of graduating occasionally scares me shitless.
No promises though.
As we can see I'm not really good at being consistent.
Friday, March 21, 2008
5 years
It has been five years since President Bush waged war on the Iraqi people.
I could spend a LOT of time writing about my thoughts on this war, but I won't.
Instead I want to acknowledge the loss of life that has happened during these past five years.
3,900 American Soldiers
http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2003/iraq/forces/casualties/
61,369 Iraqi Civilians
http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/iraq/casualties.html
Regardless of your feelings on the war, I think and hope that we can all unite in grieving the deaths of these men and women. War ravages families and communities and leaves a path of pain and loss regardless of the outcome.
"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. "
-Mother Theresa
I could spend a LOT of time writing about my thoughts on this war, but I won't.
Instead I want to acknowledge the loss of life that has happened during these past five years.
3,900 American Soldiers
http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2003/iraq/forces/casualties/
61,369 Iraqi Civilians
http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/iraq/casualties.html
Regardless of your feelings on the war, I think and hope that we can all unite in grieving the deaths of these men and women. War ravages families and communities and leaves a path of pain and loss regardless of the outcome.
"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. "
-Mother Theresa
Friday, March 14, 2008
Spring Break!!!
In case I don't get time to post more about this tomorrow I am going here http://www.urbanpromiseusa.org/ during Spring Break for about five days.
Once I get home here are the things I need to accomplish:
1. Get Bridesmaid dresses tailored so the straps don't fall off mid-grabbing bouquet from bride
2. Create some sort of wall decoration so our voices no longer echo inside the apt.
3. Catch up on all that reading, you know all the books you skim during the quarter and promise yourself you will actually read them when you have time
4. Start to think about making very big decisions for the rest of my life
5. Oh yeah, and process through the my experience at Urban Promise . . . not a big deal right?
Once I get home here are the things I need to accomplish:
1. Get Bridesmaid dresses tailored so the straps don't fall off mid-grabbing bouquet from bride
2. Create some sort of wall decoration so our voices no longer echo inside the apt.
3. Catch up on all that reading, you know all the books you skim during the quarter and promise yourself you will actually read them when you have time
4. Start to think about making very big decisions for the rest of my life
5. Oh yeah, and process through the my experience at Urban Promise . . . not a big deal right?
Ode to Finals
Oh finals, you are so persistent, the way you show up every ten weeks.
Somehow you still manage to surprise me
I get so lost in our relationship that I even forget basic hygiene
You begin to consume my every thought, this relationship leaves me with little time for anything else like . . . sleeping or eating
I still get that feeling in my stomach whenever you show up, you know the kind where you want to rip out your intestines
Oh finals, I hate to break it to you this way, but . . . we are breaking up
Somehow you still manage to surprise me
I get so lost in our relationship that I even forget basic hygiene
You begin to consume my every thought, this relationship leaves me with little time for anything else like . . . sleeping or eating
I still get that feeling in my stomach whenever you show up, you know the kind where you want to rip out your intestines
Oh finals, I hate to break it to you this way, but . . . we are breaking up
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Things I love (and don't) about my bed
Love: When I get into the sheets after I have just made the bed and it is like a little cocoon ready for my sleepy body.
Don't: When all of the sheets get untucked from their places and wrapped around your body. There is already enough chaos in my life, I don't need it in my sheets as well (that is not meant to sound as inappropriate as it came across)
Love: When you wake up knowing that you had accomplished the things you needed to the day before and you know it is a new day.
Don't: When you wake up with the 85 things you didn't get done the day before still in your brain feeling overwhelmed by the prospect of having to take a shower (this is happens approximately 95% of the time)
Love: When I only sleep one side of my bed and wake up in the same place I fell asleep in, this is a sign of good rest.
Don't: While I am sleeping in my comfy bed and soft sheets people down the street from me are sleeping on cardboard in the park trying to hide from the relentless rain and various demons that haunt them.
Don't: When all of the sheets get untucked from their places and wrapped around your body. There is already enough chaos in my life, I don't need it in my sheets as well (that is not meant to sound as inappropriate as it came across)
Love: When you wake up knowing that you had accomplished the things you needed to the day before and you know it is a new day.
Don't: When you wake up with the 85 things you didn't get done the day before still in your brain feeling overwhelmed by the prospect of having to take a shower (this is happens approximately 95% of the time)
Love: When I only sleep one side of my bed and wake up in the same place I fell asleep in, this is a sign of good rest.
Don't: While I am sleeping in my comfy bed and soft sheets people down the street from me are sleeping on cardboard in the park trying to hide from the relentless rain and various demons that haunt them.
Friday, March 7, 2008
The tale of a loogie
Warning: If you have a sensitive stomach I would suggest not reading this post
I have had a sinus infection which equals mass amounts of mucus flowing down my throat because I refuse to 'hawk a loogie'. The other night I was housesitting and on my way to take a shower I sneezed quite violently. I felt a large loogie project out of my mouth and onto the hardwood floor. I decided that that would be an unfortunate thing to leave on the floor so I start looking around for said loogie. Then on the bottom of my foot I realize that I found the loogie, so I hobble over to the bathroom to wipe it off. While in the bathroom I get ready for the shower and then realize I left the towel in the other room. In my attempt to retrieve a towel I also happen to trot my naked little behind right across all of the open shades for all of the neighbors to see.
It is really is rough to be this amazing all the time.
I have had a sinus infection which equals mass amounts of mucus flowing down my throat because I refuse to 'hawk a loogie'. The other night I was housesitting and on my way to take a shower I sneezed quite violently. I felt a large loogie project out of my mouth and onto the hardwood floor. I decided that that would be an unfortunate thing to leave on the floor so I start looking around for said loogie. Then on the bottom of my foot I realize that I found the loogie, so I hobble over to the bathroom to wipe it off. While in the bathroom I get ready for the shower and then realize I left the towel in the other room. In my attempt to retrieve a towel I also happen to trot my naked little behind right across all of the open shades for all of the neighbors to see.
It is really is rough to be this amazing all the time.
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