# 10

Yes my friends, it is true, wedding #10 of me being a bridesmaid has come and gone. It was wonderful for a lot of reasons, but I may just start with one of them. This reason may also explain my blogging absence.

I have wonderful friends. They know how to listen, how to ask questions, how to lovingly tell me that I am taking myself way too seriously. I feel known when I am with these women. It has been a joy to see them make commitments to loving partners and to see some of them leave Seattle and others leave the country.

All of this change has left me feeling a bit lonely. I haven't blogged in a while because I don't want this to be a place where I am awkwardly vulnerable. I sort of have this idea that that should happen with people before I write it on the internet.

At this last wedding I had the chance to reconnect with a group of women that I love dearly. They have watched me go through many different stages of becoming who I am and they have always been loving and faithful. I needed to share the sadness of not being with them as much as I want before I could share it here.

This weekend was rejuvenating and reminded me that sometimes we just have to say how we are feeling before we can expect people to care for us in the ways we need to be cared for. This doesn't mean things are instantly perfect. I am still sad occasionally and I am working on adjusting to big kid life. I might be better at sharing those things (and maybe some useless funny things) here, but not before I first share with those who care for me.