Sunday, June 22, 2008

Airport thoughts

So I'm at the airport, ready to go home (Seattle home) and my flight is about an hour late. I'm already here far too early for my original flight time. My mother is a bit obsessive compulsive and really needed to be confident that I wouldn't be late because of the HUGE lines at the Sacramento airport. Yeah, we are a pretty big deal.

Anyways I thought this would be the perfect time to blog. Here we go . . .

Holly and I were talking the other night (there may have been tears involved because Holly had just walked into our house and a lot of things were moved out and we both realized this is all really changing) about the rest of our lives. She said something quite profound about her desire to leave the country with the hubby in the next couple of years.

She said "I know that if we stay here I will be seduced by the car and the house and the coushy income."

All the sudden things became very clear. I have really been enjoying babysitting lately. In this time of instability, the stability of a husband, house, and children seems very appealing. This has caused quite the crisis in my life. See, I do not really subscribe to the thought that all women want to have children and a family and that is what God has created us for. I think some people have been created for that, but I think it is problematic when we confine people to certain callings based on their gender. Why have I been wanting this if it is not something that I feel is my primary calling?

Holly's comment reminded me that just because it seems appealing, that does mean it is right for me. At some point in my life I hope to have a family. But most of all I hope that I am doing justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly in a way that does not forget my neighbors here in the states and in other parts of the world.

I'm not really sure if this made sense in the way I want it to. Please feel free to ask me questions in the comments :)


Allie said...

That's weird because I have been getting the feeling recently that I am scooching closer and closer to that time where I want a serious significant other... and that maybe I could have kids someday, even though I've always been terrified of the thought. But yes, those things do provide this weird sense of security and stability... Is that real? I don't know... All I know is I need to be looking for security and stability elsewhere.

Bonnie said...

OK, my comment. It is normal to want to share your life with someone you love...that really is normal. However having childen is quite another, as it is truly an individual desire; that desire will also change from time to time; your feelings will evolve as you gather more insight and begin your critical analysis of your wants and needs as you grow older. So your soul searching is good, healthy and to be commended. But no need to get overly introspective (in my opinion), take a break and be good to yourself, no decisions have to be made now, ya know. Sorry I made you get to the airport so early!

Andrea said...

Hi Kelsey. Holly makes a fantastic point. Marriage, family and careers are very tempting. A life like that is comfortable and is what people would call sucessful. But that doesn't mean it's right. I don't think God wants us to be comfortable. I think we are supposed to be challenged and grow. On the other hand, I understand that for some, having a family is the biggest challenge and joy. But I just think that life shouldn't be about stability and comfort.