Also

I think I really am an introvert. People don't believe this because I am kind of loud and chatty sometimes. But I just spent a whole weekend meeting new family and talking. I think if someone walks up to talk to me right now I may give them the stink eye.

Airport thoughts

So I'm at the airport, ready to go home (Seattle home) and my flight is about an hour late. I'm already here far too early for my original flight time. My mother is a bit obsessive compulsive and really needed to be confident that I wouldn't be late because of the HUGE lines at the Sacramento airport. Yeah, we are a pretty big deal.

Anyways I thought this would be the perfect time to blog. Here we go . . .

Holly and I were talking the other night (there may have been tears involved because Holly had just walked into our house and a lot of things were moved out and we both realized this is all really changing) about the rest of our lives. She said something quite profound about her desire to leave the country with the hubby in the next couple of years.

She said "I know that if we stay here I will be seduced by the car and the house and the coushy income."

All the sudden things became very clear. I have really been enjoying babysitting lately. In this time of instability, the stability of a husband, house, and children seems very appealing. This has caused quite the crisis in my life. See, I do not really subscribe to the thought that all women want to have children and a family and that is what God has created us for. I think some people have been created for that, but I think it is problematic when we confine people to certain callings based on their gender. Why have I been wanting this if it is not something that I feel is my primary calling?

Holly's comment reminded me that just because it seems appealing, that does mean it is right for me. At some point in my life I hope to have a family. But most of all I hope that I am doing justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly in a way that does not forget my neighbors here in the states and in other parts of the world.

I'm not really sure if this made sense in the way I want it to. Please feel free to ask me questions in the comments :)

Sidenote

If you are a Seattleite you will understand this.

I can hear the drum circle in Fremont outside my window right now. Summer has arrived my friends. I just can't wait for the naked solstice parade.

Breaking News

I graduated. It's a pretty big deal.

The sun is still rising (or at least it would be if I lived anywhere else besides Seattle)

I still know how to function in life

I have a feeling things are going to be pretty great


* I promise a more in depth post after this weekend when wedding shower number three gets marked off the list.

So what are you doing after graduation?

So. . . I'm graduating in three weeks and yes I shit my pants at least once a day when I try to think about what the HELL I am going to do in the next six months. I am typically plagued by feelings of anxiety when I think about this next season in life. Most of this is fueled by my desire/pressure to be a 'responsible' person. Because our generation is so self-esteem obsessed I have heard my whole life "Kelsey, you really are going to be something".

A. What the hell does that even mean?
B. I don't think babysitting and waitressing really qualifies

Here is the deal, I think (read: have to convince myself) that spending some time after college babysitting and doing some other side jobs is ok. I need to some time to figure out where the hell my life is going. I also have to remind myself that people who are doing wonderful things to change the world did not just arrive there one day, it has been a journey.

All of that to say I am thinking about this next season as a fresh start. I really could do anything (almost) that I want to. I am going to take some time to start dreaming. What are the things that make me feel alive? Not what I should do.

So here is my answer : "Ask not the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive . . . then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive" ~ Howard Thurman

The Sun

The sun is out people and it is a pretty big effing deal. The sun in Seattle feels different than the sun in California. Here are some comparisons for you.

Seattle sun:
The city doubles in size as people come out of hibernation and soak in as much Vitamin D as possible because you never know when it will come out again.

Everyone talks about how sunny it is outside. This is not considered a shallow conversation, but a time of rejoicing

70 degrees = tank tops

It is totally inappropriate to say or think anything negative about the warmth from the sun. Such actions will result in verbal reprimand from anyone in ear shot or the sun will hear you and go away.

People begin to say crazy things like 'I just want to get sunburned' (Holly)


California Sun

The city begins to shrink in size as people retreat to buildings with air conditioning. People know that it is about to reach about 103 degrees

Every summer seems to be 'the hottest summer we have had in years'. People can't seem to believe that they actually survived that kind of heat the previous summer, it must be hotter this year

70 degrees= possibly still sweatshirt material

Any sort of conversation about how ridiculously hot it is outside is unnecessary and results in a 'no shit sherlock' face from people around you

Jealous?

Let me tell you about a little evening ritual that the roommate and I have. Holly gets ready for bed around 10:00 (she is a very responsible adult) and I usually join her in our HUGE (and by huge I mean, when Holly has her glasses off we run into each other) bathroom for this event.

This evening we were getting ready for bed, using our new sonicare toothbrush, discussing how to save the world, you know the usual. I was wearing a white shirt and noticed that my hands look quite tan (I just spent a week in CA at a friend's wedding. To be blogged about later and possibly with pictures). While I was admiring my new hue I asked Holly "are you jealous that I am so tan right now?"

I thought I was SO funny and laughed pretty hard for awhile. Holly continued to mock the other times I have asked her similar questions. They usually go something like this. "Holly are you jealous that I can put basically any hair product in my hair and it will come out with those great 'fresh from the beach' waves?" Or, "Holly are you jealous that I can avoid taking a shower for at least three days and not have greasy hair?"

I realize that this post may make me look like a pretty vain bitch. The truth is I am not obsessed with these things. I check out my hair in the morning and whatever happens, happens. These little exchanges between Holly and I are just a way of saying "Hey, we don't hate our bodies." On most days we think they are pretty great. There are features about Holly that I am jealous of (the fact that you can actually see her eyes in pictures), but we don't spend a lot of time dwelling on it. At the end of the day our bodies are not what they look like, it is what they do. They allow us to learn, to care, to adventure, to love, to reflect a good Creator. Those things are worth dwelling on.